WRUSSLEMUNYA 25
-And here we are! WRUSSLEMUNYA 25! Not just the grand return of my WrussleMunya recap (last year, due to the feed I was watching being incredibly glitchy, I didn’t bother), but the return of content from myself (March has been HELL for me)! However, do not expect a RAW Reflections from me tomorrow, because I’m not out of the woods just yet, as far as school is concerned, but I figure I would get the motor running again. ON TO THE SHOW.
Intro
-The opening was classy, but kind of subdued. I was expecting a MASSIVE and grandiose intro video package, but this was nice, having the wrestlers discuss what WrestleMania means to them.
-MAN, Nicole Scherzinger really cannot sing. Also, I feel sad that Howard Finkel did not get to do the whole show. I watched his HOF Induction on Saturday night, and he, whether it was intentional or not, made some rather cogent arguments. The ring announcer plays a VERY important role in the presentation of a wrestling show, making every single match seem important and serious. Lillian Garcia and Justin Roberts fail at this. Justin Roberts, I just think he needs more experience. Lillian, however, is just not very good. Above all else, THE GODDAMN RING ANNOUNCER SHOULD NOT BE SMILING WHEN THEY ARE DOING THEIR JOB.
-….ahem…
Money In The Bank Ladder Match (With Ladders)
-LOTS AND LOTS OF FUCKING LADDERS. Holy shit. Everywhere you look, you see a ladder!
-…What in the hell was Finlay wearing? He and Hornswoggle looked like they had some kind of weird Irish-Road Warrior (the movie, not the tag team) motif going on. Also, I’m very happy that CM Punk, MVP, Christian AND even Kofi got good reactions. They deserve it.
-Personally, I liked this match, because it didn’t try to be anything more than it was, a spotfest. It didn’t pretend to have any sort of storyline or pace or anything, it was a good, solid 15 minutes of insane spots. Wanting any kind of substance to something like this, is like trying to find deep, philosophical arguments in a Michael Bay movie; you don’t watch it to be intellectually stimulated, you watch it for the pure and simple excitement that catastrophe brings.
-Having said that, some of the spots in this match were just plain awesome. The part where Kofi Kingston climbed up a ladder WHILE MARK HENRY IS HOLDING IT was nuts. And the Shelton Dive? Shelton Benjamin has managed to put himself on EVERY WrestleMania highlight reel for the next decade. My only disappointment in this match was the botched Sunset Powerbomb. Because, you see, I ALWAYS mark for that move.
-Oh, right. CM Punk wins his second MITB Match in a row. I hope, this year, they actually make him look like a serious champion.
-And in case you did not know, Slim Jim is your official blood pressure-raising junk food for WrestleMania!
Kid Rock Sucks
-I’m sorry, but this was just a tremendous waste of time. Although not nearly as terrible as the combination of Saliva and Drowning Pool at WM18, still a huge waste of time nonetheless. Basically, this was all a segue to…
…The Divas Battle Royale…
-…which sucked just as much.
-Seriously, this match had “clusterfuck” written all over it. Which, of course, one SHOULD expect when they hear the words “Diva” and “Battle Royale,” but just the presentation of it was just BLECH. No ring introductions, ESPECIALLY for the women who were promoted as making “SURPRISE RETURNS!!!” and I feel especially sorry for the people who saw this live in person, up in the nosebleeds, and had NO idea what was going on.
-Hell, Lillian hadn’t even finished announcing the match, and like 3 people were eliminated. BAAAAD.
-The only saving grace was that Eurotrash Superstar won it, proving once again that he is probably the greatest comedy character EVER.
Chris Jericho vs. OMG LEGENDS
-To be honest, I was going into this match expecting to be let down. I felt that, with the buildup, WWE had painted itself into a corner with this angle. I really did.
-Thankfully, I was proven wrong, at least as far as this match goes. Obviously, not much can be expected from Piper and Snuka at this point, as they are DEFINITELY not in their prime anymore, and they at least held their own long enough. Hell, I REALLY enjoyed Piper going nuts and swearing his fucking head off on the biggest event the PG-RATED WWE puts on…
-..But goddamn it, I did not expect what I saw from Ricky Steambot. Holy FUCK. The man had not wrestled for 15 years, but it looked like he had not lost a step. If this was just Jericho vs. Steamboat, as in retrospect it should have been, and assuming Steamboat could keep up the pace for a good 10 minutes this would have been the showstealer. No bones about it…
-Well, that, and if the horrible after-match proceedings did not happen. The Rourke-Jericho exchange was just bad. Very, very bad. And awkward, too. Michael Cole and Jim Ross tried DESPERATELY to hardsell Rourke as a former boxer, but it did not work, the payoff of this whole angle looked weak, and took this segment down a whole notch. The good thing is, is that I’m once again reminded why I hate celebrities being involved in wrestling matches in ANY capacity.
A Commercial At WrestleMania? WTF?!
-Seriously, what the hell! A COMMERCIAL. AT WRESTLE-FUCKING-MANIA. And not JUST a commercial, a FUCKING RECRUITMENT AD FOR THE ARMY? That’s crass, my friends. CRASS, I SAY. It confused the shit out of me too. For a moment, I thought the cable company had screwed up, and accidentally put on an airing of the 1997 disaster film Twister. I was NOT expecting a fucking RECRUITMENT AD AT WRESTLEMANIA. FUCK.
HARDY VS. HARDY! Winner: HARDY!
-This match should not have been an “eXtreme Rules” match. For two reasons. Number one, we already had our spotfest of the evening, which made THIS spotfest look tame, by comparison. Second, it would have been MUCH more dramatic if it were just a standard singles match, especially this early into the feud.
-That being said, this match was not terrible. Sure, it wasn’t Owen vs. Bret, or Undertaker vs. Kane, but this match didn’t even have a FRACTION of the build those two had, so, for what its worth, it was alright. The spots they did were pretty sick, but as I said, by comparison, they just couldn’t one-up the insanity that was MITB.
-What WAS shocking, though, was that Matt Hardy won, and not Jeff. Which, for me anyway, is a good indication that this isn’t over just yet.
Gratuitous Backstage Shot
-Absolutely no point to the backstage shot of Randy Orton preparing for his match tonight, other than to give the ring crew some time to clean up the debris from Hardy vs. Hardy. They could have done something else, like a backstage interview, or send it to Cole, Ross and Lawler to hype the next match. ANYTHING the least bit substantial.
THE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE HAS RETURNED TO WRESTLEMANIA
-…for about 21 seconds. After a seven-year absence, my favourite title gets 21 seconds. Not even half a minute. 
-HOWEVER, the bookends of this match were just plain awesome. Rey has REALLY outdone himself, in regards to superhero costume motifs (although, as a history nerd, the Aztec Warrior gear was badass), with his Joker mask and costume. Markout moment of the night. Also, I really like the idea of Breastshaw NOT WRESTLING anymore. I thoroughly enjoyed the Breastshaw/FAIL poster that someone had in the crowd.
Undertaker and HBK Kill a Cameraman and Put On The MOTN In The Process
-Holy SHIT. HOL-LEE SHIT. That was good. That was REALLY good.
-Like, seriously. For two guys in their forties AND not being in the best physical shape (Shawn with his knees and Taker with being old), they put on one HELL of a match, especially since they went a full half hour. This match was almost as perfect as you can get.
-As well, this match was HILARIOUS at times, too. The exaggerated facial expressions. The melodramatic suspense. And Undertaker SQUASHING that cameraman like a grape. He fucking KILLED him. I feel sorry for the poor bastard, his WrestleMania is being squashed by a man twice his size, and landing on his goddamned camera, which had to fucking hurt.
-And you know what else? My brother pointed this out to me. For a while, I’ve been saying Shawn looks weird, and have wondered if was his wrinkling face, that beard, or something. But, my brother noticed Shawn Michaels has a lazy eye. WHEN THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN? Also, I’m sorry, but the dude SERIOUSLY has to look into getting hair plugs or something. Get the ones Chavo has.
-Before I move on, there’s one thing I would like to mention. Did ANYONE else see the lady in the second row, wearing the lime green tank top and the FANTASTIC set of breasts? I did, and even if this match sucked, I would have had fond memories of this match JUST because those breasts.
Various Nonsense
-I can stand WWE putting on a Draft Show promo because, well, double standards I guess. The bad thing is, they’re STILL going to do this split roster thing. I really was enjoying the past three months of no definition between shows.
-Evander Holyfield is at WrestleMania. Good for him.
I Am Officially Sick of Vickie Guerrero: Cena vs. Big Show vs. Edge
-I have come to the conclusion that Vickie needs to just go away, now. I came to this conclusion when I was watching the build up to this. This match wasn’t about the world title. It was about Eddie Guerrero’s widow in a gross and really uncomfortable love triangle. The video package left me thinking, either Vickie is DESPERATE for money, or she has no moral scruples whatsoever.
-In any event, this match would have been great… if it was a main event for SmackDown. For WrestleMania, it did not cut the mustard whatsoever. Standard cookie cutter triple threat match where the participants alternate on who gets to sleep on the floor while the other two wrestle. Edge is just SO much better than all of this.
-And MAAAAAAN did the crowd hate Cena. OH, they hated him a whole lot. It must have been a fun night for the guy in charge of censoring the opinion of the crowd by confiscating their signs, because there was a LOT of them.
-Also, the Cena intro, with all the Cena doppelgangers was just fucking terrifying. Because there were so MANY of them. Lord help us all if the Cenas ever get their hands on microphones and start bombarding us with poop jokes. No army in the world can withstand the magnitude of their toilet humour.
Steve Austin’s Swan Song
-It’s now the part of the show where the Hall of Fame inductees come out and wave to the audience. Steve Austin comes out last and waves, and then proceeds to head to the back…
-…AND USHER IN THE RETURN OF THE AUSTIN FOUR WHEELER!!!! FUCKING AWESOME. Steve Austin then takes an extended moment to drink beer in the ring and do stuff, to get the crowd NUTS.
-And you know what? Even though it ate up a LOT of time, enough time for a small match, I was fine with it. Considering the guy is the biggest star the company has EVER had, and considering the guy is also in his home state, and the last WrestleMania that was here, he left as (inexplicably) the heel, the guy deserved it.
-You know what? If WWE intends on keeping JR on SmackDown, they should REALLY consider having Austin as his colour analyst. It would make for awesome TV, at least.
The Main Event… *yawn*
-Ok, so. This was anti-climatic, wasn’t it?
-H’s intro startled the shit out of me. For a moment, I thought I had been sucked into some negaverse where there are TWO H’s, and they were feuding. Thankfully, it was just a mirror.
-So, yeah. ANTI-CLIMATIC. Up until the finish, the match was alright. It wasn’t spectacular or anything, but it was the best both are capable of. I thought the whole angle about H’s having to control his temper and not get disqualified, or he loses his belt was actually done nicely…
-And then, came the ending. As obtuse an ending can be. It would have been fine if the H’s just nailed him with the sledgehammer Randy brought in and that would be it. Hell, maybe even sledgehammer and then Pedigree. But, no. Sledgehammer, several minutes of punching, and then Pedigree. Yuck.
-I’m not even mad about the H’s winning. Seriously! In this decade, prior to last night, he had only won three WrestleMania matches. Hell, he hasn’t won a WrestleMania match since WrestleMania XIX, AND in the process, put over Chris Benoit, Batista and John Cena in the process! What I’m mad about, is the ending could have been MUCH better.
Conclusions
-WrestleMania 25 will go down in the records as “pretty decent.” That’s right, I liked last night’s show. It is by NO means the worst WrestleMania ever, nor is it amongst the top five, or even ten worst WrestleManias. Not even close.
-People in the future will probably unfairly judge this show as only having “ONE GOOD MATCH,” and in the same breath, wax poetic about how awesome WrestleMania X was, because it had “THE OMG LADDER MATCH SHAWN MICHAELS RAZOR RAMON CHICO.” While, yes, the Ladder match was indeed awesome (along with Owen vs. Bret), the whole undercard, and even the main event of WrestleMania X was really lacklustre.
-WrestleMania 25 was, by no means, mediocre. It was really fun to watch, chock full of future WrestleMania highlight reel clips, and some serious surprises (Ricky Steamboat, for one).
-HOWEVER, one thing REALLY pissed me off about this show. BUMPING THE GOD DAMNED TAG TITLE MATCH AND MAKING IT A DVD EXCLUSIVE. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHGHH.
-Well, OTHER than that, it was a decent show.
-END.
April 6th, 20099:05 pm at
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